Five Lessons I Learned from Parenting

Do you ever wonder if parenting has changed your attitude? Did parenting teach you life lessons that would otherwise be almost impossible to learn?

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.

- Paulo Coelho

There is no doubt that we know our kids better than anyone else. And no matter what parenting style we choose, our ultimate intention is to provide our kids safety, love, and support in every possible way. But our foremost job as a parent is to provide our kids with an interface with the world which ultimately prepares them for being independent and the ability to choose the right paths later in their life.

On the other hand, every day is a new day of learning for us as well in our kid’s enchanted land of childhood. For example, reading with or for them gives us the opportunity to learn new words and discover new things. And playing with them gives us the opportunity to relive our childhood again.

Here are five topmost lessons from my parenting journey:

1. Patience is the key

Patience is the key to good parenting. We can’t survive as a parent without patience. I was an impatient person before being a mother and in fact, I still am, to an extent. But after having kids I realized that without this crucial trait, you are not going to raise the person you want to see your kid in future. This is something we cannot learn overnight, we have to practice it.

2. Keep calm and carry on

Granted, it’s not possible as a parent to keep your calm all the time with kids. But we can choose not to lose our temper every time. This is one virtue that also requires practice. To be fair, being angry or losing temper once or twice is fine -we are just human after all.

3. Learn to deal with negative emotions

Out of eight basic human emotions, negative emotions like sadness, frustration, and anger are the ones that we struggle with every day. These emotions come naturally when we are stressed or hurt. We can’t control how we feel at that moment but we can control our response to these emotions. More often than not I noticed adverse effects on my kids whenever I responded negatively. It’s good if we learn to deal with the negative emotions or conceal them in the presence of our kids. It’s easier said than done but we can make it possible with little extra effort.

4. Be a good listener

One of the most important things that I learned is that kids want to be heard. They feel happy if you take time for them from your daily hustle and bustle and sit with them to listen to their long stories. More often than not, they are not going to tell about their day in one go - it’s going to be in bits and pieces. Not only that, but they also need assurance that you are indeed listening to them. Believe me, they are much smarter than we can imagine.

5. Show respect to gain respect

This is one of the most important lessons that I learned from parenting. Every human being deserves respect and a child is no exception. Like us, our kids also deal with a lot of emotions each day. They might be sad about not getting a toy or they might be excited for a movie night. These might be little things for us, but it’s a big deal for them. I think we should respect their feelings by putting ourselves in our kids’ shoes. Once in a while, there is no harm in doing this. Let’s not forget, respect is something that we all have to gain. We should never shout at them or embarrass them in front of people or in a crowded place. Kids are sensitive and they really get hurt - especially if they are preschoolers or older.

I personally felt that adhering to these habits doesn’t take a lot. These qualities eventually build essential skills and make us and our kids better people.

As a parent, we always try our best to give a good start to our kids in their early lives. But raising kids is definitely not a smooth ride. However, every child has a unique personality and parents have a great influence on a child’s life and their behavior. They also get influenced by others especially when they enter school life or begin their interaction with the outside world.

All in all, parenting is an awesome journey filled with a variety of challenges, moments, emotions, lessons and rewards. And during this journey, both children and parents learn lots of valuable lessons.

As much as we teach our kids, the process teaches us. If we’re being diligent, we’re learning from our strengths as parents, but also from the mistakes that we make.

Jeffery Wright